TOP GEAR Fiction - "The Fantasy Special aka Scared around the World".
VOICE OVER - CLARKSON Tonight on a very special edition of Top Gear you get to see us scared to death repeatedly. The challenge we face was not like anything we have ever done before. It was unexpected and tested us in ways we never expected.
SCENE - THE THREE HOSTS IN THE STUDIO
Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
Tonight we have an adventure for you. One that we were not sure we were going to survive.
And the horrible thing about it all is that it started like a fantasy.
Normally the Producers give us a very small amount of money and have us buy cars. Then they set challenges and we simply try to keep our cars in one piece. We are always competing but honestly the goal is just to get to the end alive.
JAMES MAY - HEAVILY SARCASTIC
This time they said in a very charming way that we were to be rewarded. Top Gear has been a success for many years now and they wanted to do something nice for us. Nice.
RICHARD HAMMOND - LOOKING SAD.
I knew something was up when my outfit arrived. The other two had already called me all pleased about what they were supposed to wear but mine did not arrive until that morning. When it did show up I understood why they had waited.
But before you get to see that magnificent special you should have the chance to enjoy the beginning just as we did.
We were told to meet in Lillie, France, at midnight. Our cars would be waiting for us at a small race track south of town.
Never having been given clothes to wear we really did not know what to expect.
SCENE - THREE FIGURES BACKLIT WALKING TOWARDS A PARKING LOT
LIGHTS FLARE. THREE CARS ARE REVEALED. THEIR VOICES ARE HEARD BUT THE HOSTS ARE NOT SEEN. SITTING IN THE POOL OF LIGHT ARE THE MACH 5 FROM SPEED RACER, THE 1960S BATMOBILE AND THE FORD XB FALCON INTERCEPTOR FROM MAD MAX.
I don't believe it.
So we are supposed to drive some rubbish toy cars?
No I have heard about those. See that logo there? There are stunt cars. Big engines, custom suspensions and the ability to do all sorts of tricks. They go like stink.
CUT TO THE THREE.
As you can see I am dressed in the leather jacket of the Road Warrior which means that muscle monster over there must be mine. James you don't look bad in that all black outfit and long leather jacket. Even those gloves seem to work. But Hammond mate...
LAUGHTER FROM CLARKSON AND MAY.
I know the blue shirt and white pants are Speed's outfit but I can't wear this!
FOUR WHITE COATED TECHS SHOW UP.
THREE HAVE HELMITS AND ONE AN ENVELOPE.
THE THREE HOSTS LOOK AT THE PROFESSIONAL HELMITS. EACH IS UNIQUE.
Well at least it is not the Batman mask. The bat wings look rather wicked I think.
HAMMOND VIEWS HIS HELM SILENTLY. IT HAS A LARGE RED 'M' ON IT.
Before you are three cars from fantasy made real. Each can be adapted to a variety of tasks and they will need to be along the way. However in the proper tradition of Heros you will each only have the support of a single person. The Crew will not assist you in any way as you progress through the challenges.
From beginning to end this is a Race. But since we do not wish you to smash into a wall at 200 km/hour we have installed monitors. Should you exceed any posted speed limits by more than 15 km/hr you will be penalized for each second.
This race will have multiple stages with the fastest time winning in the end. If there are specific Challenges along the way they will add, or subtract from your time. The first Stage is from here to Palermo Italy. That is a distance of 1,740 miles. You will do it in 2 days.
In the end whoever wins the Challenge gets to keep their car.
STUNNED FACES ON ALL THREE.
Wow. That is amazing. Keep them? James just how expensive are these things?
At least 500,000 pounds mate.
Suddenly the silly outfits no longer matter. I want that car.
You are not alone there mate.
It is not something I want. But I don't want to lose either and it would look good in my garage.
NEXT UP: DAY ONE AND THE FIRST TASTE OF FEAR