Quotes for Middle East Special. Feel free to add more

Richard HammondEdit

(When Jeremy and James ruin his stereo on purpose and another stereo is playing 'Genesis') You (censored)! What have you done!

Great, bloody keyboard solo!

(When they were forced to reverse in the desert and his tent breaks apart) Clarkson, you ruined my tent!

James MayEdit

(Getting his car fixed) Well, I wouldn't have been able to do it without those meddling kids.

Jeremy ClarksonEdit

(After May said he spent 3,966 pounds on his BMW and Clarkson thinks Hammond's Fiat was stupid) So we’re not three wise men — we’re one wise man, an idiot and a cheat.

Hammond, don't be an arse!


Wrestle for the middleEdit

James: I just realized that being in the front is a mistake, cause then I'm the first target. The clever thing to do would be in the middle. (voiceover) Annoyingly, the other two had exactly the same idea.

Clarkson overtakes Hammond and gets in the middle.

Richard: Oh no, you don't.

Hammond overtakes Clarkson.

Jeremy: You idiot.

Clarkson overtakes May.

James: Oh, you cock!

May overtakes Clarkson.

Jeremy: Oh, May!

James: (voiceover) We were so busy trying to get in the middle, we weren't looking where we were going. And soon, we were lost.

Carol ConcertEdit

Jeremy: (voiceover) With 30 miles to go to the Iranian border, James calmed his nerves with a little carol concert.

James: (singing) # We three blokes from BBC Two. One colour gold car, one colour poo, Oh-oh, brought the wrong cars, brought the right, Working heater, working lights, Westward-going Gasket maybe blowing. What a piece of sh--#

Scene cuts to the three blokes, arriving to the Iranian immigration office.

Filling StationEdit

Jeremy: Just remember, "bhedji" is petrol.

Richard: "Bhedji" is bas---

Jeremy: "Bhedji" is bastard. So don't, whatever you do, get that wrong.

James: Is there anybody here? (voiceover) 'There was...sort of.'

They see the petrol station owner, still asleep in bed.

Jeremy: (whisper) I think we'll go to another petrol station.

James: (whisper) I don't like to wake a man up just for some petrol. Especially if I accidentally call him a bastard.

They snicker a little.

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