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Africa Special/Quotes

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Memorable or notable quotes from Top Gear's Africa Special.

Richard HammondEdit

(Repeated line) Shut up!

(Repeated line) Fact.

(After missing a bike that nearly crashes into him) Sorry!

(After "accidentally" setting fire to a sock) Ooh, careless.

James MayEdit

This one's got a chair and a table.

(Finding a hole in his bonnet) CLARKSOOOOON!!

Jeremy ClarksonEdit

F^&#ing Hammond is not having this!

I believe in speed [and] power. Power and speed solves many things. Speed and power!

Couple of rules you need to know really about Uganda if you're coming here. Number one, if you're a male homosexual and you indulge in your, uh, homosexuality, it's life imprisonment. That's very important to know. Also, it is compulsory here for motorcyclists to wear a crash helmet unless you are a woman on your way back from the hairdressers, then you are allowed to wear a carrier bag on your head instead. (Laughs) I promise, I promise that's true.

(After getting stuck in mud and doing an almighty scream) That was so damn close.

(Finding feces in his room's bed) HAMOOOOOOOOOOND!!!!

DialogueEdit

Jeremy and James mocking Hammond's Planet Earth Live show:Edit

Part I

Jeremy: This is strangely familiar, you telling me about animals that you've just seen than I haven't.

Richard: (Laughs) Oh, you evil sod!

Jeremy: It reminds me of a television programme. James, can you think what that television...

Richard: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

James: Was it "Richard Hammond coming to you from a tent in the dark", was it that one?

Jeremy: No, not Hammond. It was a little man and he kept saying "I've had an amazing day, I've seen lots of animals, but sadly this is live and it's dark now".

Richard: Shut up! (Laughs)

Part II

Jeremy: I've seen more already here on the Serengeti then I saw in Sir Richard Hammond-borough's Planet Earth Live programme. (To Richard) Why didn't you show all of these animals, Hammond, and your Planet Earth programme? There's million of them that we could of looked at!

Richard: Shut up!

Hammond's chair falls off his car roof into the riverEdit

Richard: That was tied on!

Jeremy: No, I took the rope off.

James: We needed the rope.

Jeremy: I took it off. I can, I can go on the other side.

(Jeremy moves to the other side.)

Jeremy: As it turns out.

James: Perfect, right, let's go, forget the chair.

They pull the raft and while they do that, a local goes to retrieve Hammond's chair.

Jeremy: Are we there yet?

Richard: Somebody's had me chair.

Jeremy: That man's got your chair!

Richard: Good for him. (to the local) Enjoy it!

Jeremy asking James about his missing door panel Edit

James: Can you give me a tow?

Jeremy: Is that my door?

James: What?

Jeremy: It is from my- I know it's from my door!

James: Well you're not using that bit and it was more useful on my car. You didn't even notice.

Jeremy: Right well that's it. That's it!

James: Can you give me a tow?

Jeremy: No!

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